inday series ^_^

Nasali
si Inday sa Deal or no Deal



Kris: Magandang gabi mga kapamilya , sa gameshow na
ito importante ang sagot sa nag-iisang katanungang Deal
or no Deal. Ang ating player ngayong gabi ay walang iba kundi ang
fastest-rising household services manager na si Inday!


[umentra si Inday at nagpalakpakan ang mga tao]


Kris: Ok Inday , choose a briefcase.


Inday: Kris , I would opt for case #4 please.


Kris: Briefcase # 4… si Sharmel. Inday , matanong ko
lang , how did you come up with the number 4?


Inday: Oh , do you really want to know Kris?


Kris: Oo naman. I’m sure kaya ko naman maintindihan
yung sasabihin mo eh.


Inday: The number 4 was acquired based on a probability
distribution function that involves integrating up to an area greater than or
equal to that random number which should be generated between 0 and 1 for
proper distributions.


Kris: Syet. tanong tanong pa kasi eh.


Kris: Ok Inday , choose 6 briefcases to open.


Inday: I would opt for 7 , 24 , 12 , 2 , 15 and 20.


Kris: Wait lang Inday , usually isa isa lang ang
pagbubukas natin ng case…


Inday: Why is that? As if I can change the outcome if
we’re to open a case each time I blurt out a number as opposed to opening each
case immediately one after the other right?


Kris: Hayyy…babaguhin pa talaga mechanics (bulong
sa sarili).


Kris: Anwyay , di bale na lang nga… tuloy tayo. Number
7. Natalie buksan na!!


[Yung audience sumisigaw ng LOWER!! LOWER!!!]


Kris: Teka lang , bago natin buksan… Inday , usually
ang mga contestants naten ay sumisigaw ng “LOWER” every time magbubukas ng
case.


Inday: Kris , I guess that’s not the way I was taught
in grade school. You see , I was taught that we should only use the comparative
form of the word or add “ER” to the adjective if we are comparing two things.
And since it is only the first briefcase that we are going to open , we have
nothing to compare it to. Am I right?


[natahimik ang audience at napaisip]


Kris: Oo nga no!


Kris: Sige Natalie , Buksan mo na.


[Ang laman ng briefcase 7 ay Piso…
Palakpakan ang mga tao]


Kris: Good start! Ano yung next case mo ulit?


Inday: Case number 24 please.


Kris: Chloe… buksan na…


[Audience sumisigaw ulit ng LOWER!! LOWER!!]


Kris: Wait lang guys , Inday may nabuksan ng case
baket di ka pa rin sumisigaw ng “Lower”?


Inday: Oh my goodness Kris , how long have you been
doing this? Have you ever encountered a value that is lower than a peso in this
game? Tell me , is there any value left lower than the one we just opened?
Sheesh.


[Napaisip ulit ang audience at natahimik]


Kris: Aarrgghh!!!! Chloe buksan na lang nga , pati na
rin yung 12 , 2 , 15 and 20 buksan na rin para matapos na. [naiirita na]


[At sunod sunod na ngang nabukas ang mga case ni Inday]



[nag-ring ang phone]


Inday: Ahh Kris , to save more time can you tell
Banker that I’m not interested in his first offer. In the history of this game
of chance , I have yet to see someone accept a first offer from the banker.
It’s quite pathetic and pretentious for contestants to pause and look around
the audience as if asking for advice before ultimately rejecting the first
offer. I mean come on , isn’t that a waste of airtime?


Banker: Potahhh!!! [narinig sa set kahit sarado
ang kwarto ni banker]


- Ito ang unang pagkakataon na marinig ng mga audience
ang boses ni banker sa Deal or no Deal.


… dumating na sa kalagitnaan ng show at mukhang minamalas
na si Inday…


Kris: Ok Inday , mukhang kelangan na natin ng tulong
sa mga friends mo… sino ba yung bigotilyong lalaki na naka-polo? Ano name nya?


Inday: Ahh , that’s my master Mr. Montemayor.


Kris: Ahhh sya pala yun , how cute naman pala eh.
Sige sir , give us a number.


Mr. Montemayor: Hi Kris , good evening. I’m a fan. I
choose number 22 please.


Kris: Ano Inday ok ba yung number 22?


Inday: Whatever , we shouldn’t bite the hand that
feeds us anyway. Go ahead.


Kris: [taray naman] Sofie , buksan na!


[ang laman ng briefcase 22 ay 5 , 000]


Kris: Good job! Sino naman yung gwapong lalake na
naka jumper na katabi ni Mr. Montemayor? What’s his name?


Inday: Ahh , that’s my on again off again boyfriend ,
Dodong the gardener.


Kris: Ooohh , sya pala yun. Ok Dodong , give us a
number!


Dodong: Hi babes , I choose briefcase 9 if it’s ok
with you. If not , it’s ok with me as long as it’s ok with you.


Kris: Ano raw? Inday , number 9 daw ok say0?


Inday: Yes Kris , it’s fine with me.


Kris: Wow ang bait pag kay Dodong. Ederlyn… buksan
na!!


…nanlaki ang mga mata ni Inday at hindi sya makapaniwala.
Natahimik at mukhang kakapusin sya ng hininga…


Inday: YOU!!! How dare you invade my moment!


[nagulat si Kris at ang mga audience sa reaksyon ni
Inday. Nagpatawag si Kris ng commercial break at nagpakuha ng tubig para kay
Inday.]


Nagkatitigan sina Inday at Ederlyn. Nakangisi si Ederlyn
habang hawak ang briefcase ni Inday.


Ederlyn:
Pinapangako ko , Inday… pagbukas luluhod ang mga tala! hahahahaha!


Inday: What? Can you speak up? What are you mumbling
up there. Can somebody give her a microphone please?


Kris: Ano ba!! Tama na nga ang drama ninyo , Ederlyn
buksan mo na ang case at umexit ka na kung ayaw mong mapalitan! (naiirita na
si Kris)


Dali-daling binuksan ni Ederlyn ang briefcase at ang
laman ay… P3 , 000 , 000.


Nanghinayang ang mga audience… Ang mga natirang values ay
250 , 1K , 20K , 50K , and 500K.


Inday: NooOoo…. (sabay tingin kay Dodong at
napapaluha) , how could you…


Dodong: I’m so sorry Inday , please forgive me.


Kris: Hayyy , drama again. Ang offer ni banker sa
pagbabalik ng Kapamilya , Deal.. or No Deal!


[pagtapos ng commercial break… mukhang composed na ulit
si Inday]


Kris: Inday , are you okay? Ang offer ni banker ay 99
thousand pesos. ‘Sing rami siguro ng pilipinong pinadugo mo na ilong. Is it
a Deal
or No Deal?


Tahimik lang si Inday tilang may kinocompute sa ulo
habang ang mga audience ay nagsisigawan ng “No Deal” , ang iba naman ay “Deal”.



Kris: Wait lang , kung mapapansin ninyo we have only
have 5 cases left , and among those 5 , apat doon ay mas maliit na value…


Inday: Kris , do you mind? Can I do my own thinking?


Natameme si Kris , pati ang audience ay natahimik.


Kris: Taray to the max! (pabulong sa sarili)


Inday: Ok , I’m ready. Upon looking at the reality of
the situation , 80% of the cases left have at least 49K less than the banker’s
offer. The only way I can do better than what is offered is that if my case
contains the 500k or I’d get to open one of the four lower values. But I have
to keep in mind that there’s only 20% probability that this would happen. I
have to take note , however , that the banker’s offer is roughly around 15%
lower than the offer I expected based on the arithmetic mean of the values
left.


Kris: Lorddd… panaginip ba ‘to? Ayokonaaa….


Inday: Accepting a deal for less than the mean should
generally be regarded as a weak decision so I would say , NO DEAL!


Limang briefcase na lang ang natitira at kasama na doon
ang case ni Inday…


Kris: My God , nakaka-stress itong episode na ito ha.
Baka dumugo na rin ang ilong ko sa’yo Inday. Sige Inday , go ahead and choose 1
briefcase!


Inday: Ok Kris , I choose briefcase #5 please?


Kris: Briefcase #5! Mimi bago mo buksan yan I would
first like to thank Figliarina by Schubizz for my sandals , Bambi Fuentes for
my hair and make-up and Pepsi Herrera for my gown tonight.


Kris: Ok Mimi , buk…


Inday: Ahh Kris , can I also take time to thank a few
people? I mean , I did save us a few minutes of airtime right?


Kris: (“kapal naman talaga ng mukha”…bulong sa
sarili) Sige , ok lang go ahead. (naka-smile pa rin)


Inday: Thanks! Yes , I would like to thank Frank
Provost for my hair and make-up , Jimmy Choo for my
sandals and my dear friend Oscar dela Renta for my gown tonight.


BLAG!! Tinumba ni Kris ang podium at nagwalk-out. Hindi
na natapos ang show kaya’t binigyan na lang ni Banker si Inday ng kalahating
milyon para sa kanyang oras.


Inday: Oh , and thanks to the people of Cartier for
sending me these nice earrings for tonight!


[Ito ang isa sa mga un-aired episode ng Kapamilya , Deal
or No Deal]

More please...

mwahahaha! enjoy.. ahehehe! MORE!~~

more!! more!! more!!!! please!!

AMO: Inday, ano ginawa mo sa microwave natin at sumabog?

INDAY:
Success is often the result of taking misstep in the right direction.
Show me a person who has never made a mistake and I'll show you
somebody who has never achieved much.

AMO: Impostora! Lumayas ka dito!

"Don't limit my capacity in the 4 corners of this luxurious abode.
Expose me to the real challenges of the outside world. I want to grow
as an individual with dynamic experiences."

- Inday, nagrereklamo dahil ayaw isama sa Enchanted Kingdom.

Amo: Inday bumili ka nga ng mga isda,
ay oo nga pala, inglesera ka na ngayon, would you please buy many
fishes for this week's meals?

Inday: Judging by your statement, I believe you meant a variety of fish. The
term fishes though rarely used, connotes a plethora of different kinds
of the said gilled aquatic creatures. But the most pressing question
before I go to the wet market would be: what type of fish? Fillet or
not? Frozen or fresh? (pauses) Ahh…given the meager budget afforded by
this household's quasi-peasant class taste, I assume I shall source the
staple "galewng-gong". Yes?

Amo: Eh kung mag-empake ka na kaya?!

wahehehe! asteg..

hhhahahaa....dodong series naman hahhaa

w0w.. ang kulet nman n2 ehehhe..

lol... ayus

Amo: Mula ngayon, wala nang magsasalita ng Ingles.
Ang sinumang magpadugo ng ilong ko at sa mga anak ko,
palalayasin sa pamamahay na ‘to. klaro ba?

Inday: Ang mga namutawi sa inyong mga labi
ay mataman ko pong iiimbak sa sulok ng aking balintataw,
sa kaibuturan ng aking puso, gugunamgunamin,
aariing salik ng aba at payak kong kabatiran.
Tatalikdan ang matayog at palalong banyagang wika,
manapay kakalingain, bibigkasin
at sakdal timyas na sasambitin
ng aking sangkolooban.

hahahah ayus to

lagyanan nga ng scotch tape yung bibig ni inday! )

may pinagmanahan pala si inday